It is very strange to be in my last few months of school. It’s an unfamiliar place that gets so quickly swept up and wrapped around you. Before you’re even aware, you’re squinting your eyes trying to read your computer screen filing your “application to graduate” on the university website. It’s very easy to fall into that notion of fear. I think it’s normal to be terrified? From age three I began my academic career. Now nearly 18 years later, it's all coming to a quick stop. Yes, I’m being dramatic. And yes of course I will never allow myself to stop learning or pushing myself. However, for the first time in my life, I’ll be creating work that has a purpose beyond my Grade Point Average. It’s a complicated mix of excitement, and anxiety.
The most difficult aspect for graduating is the sequel; What happens next? More specifically though, where do I belong in this creative sphere that we call “design?” To get more personal into who I am as an individual, most friends and foe would label me as “that girl who has it together.” The “mover and shaker” type. Not over-bearing, but willing to bear too many projects, classes, and ambitions. You get the idea. I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but there are expectations from me because of this persona I have constructed. It’s reassuring that friends want me to do well and succeed, but the expectation can be suffocating.
What if I fail?
That is the white elephant of a question that I circle back to. It’s layered with the concern of the realities in the field I’m now. It’s fascinating to see the incredible rapid growth and shift towards technology. The hard reality of this is the inevitable death of print. Designers will argue that the two can coexist. I don’t disagree, though why grab a pamphlet when I can see a dispensable animated gif, looping into oblivion. After awhile, the print materials that I collect, clutter and are properly recycled a few days, weeks, later. I could go into this paradox for hours, but the point is, digital has so many strengths over print, that it will continue to grow, expand, and be the source of revenue. That’s the bigger concern for me personally. All of my work experience in the field had the central sphere of print. Digital is the programs that compose the print work I construct. So, will I bleed out? Absolutely not. I am young, I can adapt. I can push myself to grapple and grasp the technological strengths. The biggest concern is how. How do I know what is the most ideal company, position, or even location to apply for?
I don’t know.
I really don’t and it’s a difficulty that I will ease myself through. Regardless, I will always believe that your attitude, not your aptitude will determine my career’s altitude. So I continue to be bold, ambitious, and seek out the opportunities with a genuine enthusiasm. Faking the confidence at times to reassure that I “know what I’m doing.” Reality: I really have no idea, but I’m passionate about graphic design. I get joy from feeling useful in knowing that I’m a contributor, not a consumer. It’s a labyrinth of sorts that I have to navigate on my own. I’m making new decisions that will determine a lot of my future. So bottoms up, and we’ll see where this goes. I won’t fail, because I have nothing to lose.